Let's Hear It For The Boys

Boys. We can’t live with them and we can't live without them. Like the rest of the human race they are tremendous and horrendous in equal measure. A lesser known fact however, is that they are also the victims of a huge social injustice.

Unintentional and sporadic observations which occurred organically over the course of this past week, have lead me to contemplate the value we assign to every respectable door holding, charismatic and chivalrous man we are lucky enough to encounter on a daily basis. These small yet significant liaisons rallied me enough that I began to jot down all the things that we ladies value in a modern day gentleman.

The proliferation of a modern day ‘lad culture’ which dominates the mass media, has reinforced the sweeping generalisations of a critical society which often likes to demonise men. The truth is that a modern day gentleman is a shape shifter of many different forms. He ranges in age, stance and stature and he can often turn up disguised by a hard hat and a beer belly. This unusual surveillance report has not only been duly noted for your general enjoyment, but it also serves as a positive performance appraisal for the majority of the male population whose partners, mothers, sisters and daughters are proud to claim them as their own.

Because of this daily display of commendable qualities, (which are not exclusive to strangers on the street) I think a few thank you’s are in order to all the men we know and love. First of all, to those of you who help us take our drunken friends home at 4am in the morning. 5 stars. A gentleman’s ability to overlook the irony of weight complaints, whilst simultaneously watching us inhale a large popcorn and accompanying bag of pick and mix, is creditworthy and a characteristic I would like to emphasise during the course of this discussion. In relation to the failure to co-ordinate a normal functioning gait after 5 hours in sky scrapper heels, kudos to the men willing to walk excruciatingly slow by our sides. The offer to link arms whilst we attempt to preserve the Samantha Jones like swag we had originally left the house with is an unquantifiable act of valour which deserves an equally insurmountable declaration of praise.  Perhaps one of the most important traits however, lies in the unspoken gentlemanly acknowledgement which most men have generously accepted regarding the permanent confiscation of your hoody(s). On behalf of cosy women everywhere, please accept this sentence as a token of our gratitude because you’re the real MVP’s.

Controversially, a round of applause for the man brave enough to walk across a room to talk to a woman in broad daylight. Sometimes us ladies lose sight of how bone shakenly scary that must be, and for the traditionalists amongst us, a tip of the cap is dedicated to you and your refusal to conform to social standards augmented by dating influencers like tinder. The truth is women are quite intimidating. Hell we often intimidate each other. The undisclosed general acknowledgement that we ladies like to keep under wraps is...that occasionally, we do in fact regret that knee jerk no we just slapped you across the face with. Regardless of the outcome, your slinky like ability to recover from these painful encounters is somewhat commendable. The wiry brush off every 18+ female has developed is not the fault of most men even though it is often wrongly inflicted upon them. Arguably this stems from a response which has originated as a result of small and select group of men (who are usually highly intoxicated!) that we shall colloquially refer to as the ‘Bum Pinchers’.  You know, the breed of man who feels compelled to lurch at a woman as she walks by, and refuses to take note of the friendly declines we have bombarded them with. In all my years, and all of the collective years of every female I have ever known, there has never been an occasion where a woman has ever welcomed or viewed this occurrence favourably. *Just a Hint*.

Following that slight digression, (which is far far removed from the everyday gentlemen we are choosing to celebrate) I have to admit that mistaking friendliness for flirtation is something which occurs to the detriment of women. For me, the male best friend is hands down the most valuable addition to any female’s social circle. I don't care if he's gay, straight horizontal or vertical...you need one. The company of a gentleman serves as a much needed breath of fresh air. A MBF (Male Best Friend) is someone who you can indulge in a conversation with on the days you just need to escape all things female. Blissfully they neither know nor cares about the duration of HD eyebrows or a shellac manicure, and they’re sure to make you laugh in one of those carefree sort of ways. A man’s perspective is a lot like a micro dermobrasive treatment. It feels harsh and painful sometimes, but it leaves things looking and feeling a lot clearer afterwards. Women are natural over thinkers. We prepare ourselves for every eventuality and often get lost in the process of the ‘what if’s’ and the ‘should of, would of, could of’s.’ Men on the other hand, have an uncanny knack of breaking things down into the simplest of scenarios. These are usually delivered by a definitive one liner that hits you right between the eyes, and just as your about to cry, you remove your mouth from the floor and you realise they’re usually right.

Ultimately, what stands out in all of these occasions is the ability of a man to approach women with patience, humour, honesty and respect. So whether you're a stranger on a bus who stood up and gave a woman your seat, or you’re the young man who works in Tesco who goes out of his way to make an old lady laugh, your actions have been noted. Before I am tiraded by feminist protestors, (don’t laugh this has actually happened to me before!) I would like to disclaim that the behaviour of a gentlemen has no connection to a belief in physical or intellectual superiority. These spontaneous and serendipitous acts are initiated by someone with a good heart and a sunny disposition who just wants to make another person’s life that little bit easier and happier.

 For better or for worse, women NEVER forget.  So for all the good guys out there, keep doing what you’re doing.

From the females of the world with Love.