"Grab them by the p**sy.”
Five words which will forever be synonymous with the
political stylings of the deplorable Donald Trump, a man who, among many other
distressing characteristics, personifies
the underlying existence of ‘Rape Culture’, in a global society where women often ‘appear’
to have ‘equivocal’ rights to their male counterparts.
Rebecca Solnit wrote:
“Rape culture is an
environment in which rape is prevalent and in which sexual violence against
women is normalised and excused in the media and popular culture. Rape culture
is perpetuated through the use of misogynistic language, the objectification of
women’s bodies, and the glamorisation of sexual violence, thereby creating a
society that disregards women’s rights and safety.”
Even though many men would never contemplate rape, and a lot
of women thankfully have never been victims of rape, ‘Rape Culture’ is something
which in one way or another affects us all.
To reflect back on a recent Twitter exchange regarding a
subject relating to another aspect of women’s issues, one male commentator limited
a discussion of the female agenda to be exclusive to: ‘A Shrill band of Socialists, Feminists and
Lesbians.’
Apart from the obvious narrow mindedness and bigotry of this
statement, it heartily demonstrates the deeply embedded, dysfunctional and
downright alarming thought processes of society as a whole, and the disregard for
the women’s issues that still exist.
It supports a widespread thought process
that women should be content with their lot, but frankly, life didn’t become
perfect for us when we got the right to vote. It was a milestone on a long and treacherous
journey, which comes to a daily climax every night, when we arrive home
after swerving that creepy guy, or after questioning the taxi driver who took
an unknown route home, when we close our front door and unconsciously
celebrate the fact we didn’t get raped today.
There may be no bombs, or guns pointed at our heads, but
that doesn’t mean the threat of modern ‘Rape Culture’ is not real. We’re
increasingly guilty of commodifying human life, defining ourselves by looks,
physical form and social conformity. We live in a highly sexualised society which
considers sexual aggression and exploitation as normal. We glamourise subordination
to men because they are the hunter gatherers, the providers of impractical shoes and barely there underwear...because you know, they're sexy and definitely for our own benefit and comfort.
As women we are repeatedly told ‘boys will be boys’, but the
innocence of a ‘cheeky bum’ grab in a night club is part of a larger scale of
events, a gender power play and a subsequent reminder that the whole female
population is held in a subordinate position to the whole male population. In
this way we have socially constructed and reinforced the idea of male
entitlement from what we as a society, still to this day, tell men about their gender.
Interestingly, Oliver Markus discussed the female role in purporting a rape culture when he pondered the global success of a very famous book:
"Look at the huge
success of Fifty Shades of Grey. The girl in the book lets a rich guy beat her
and ritually rape her, and she likes it! She finds it erotic! But imagine if
Christian Grey wasn't a billionaire. Imagine if he lived in a dirty old trailer
down by the river. Then that story wouldn't be a sexy romance novel, but an
episode of CSI."
Ladies, we all know real life is nothing like this Hollywood spectaculisation, so why why are we not questioning its existence?
For example getting followed home is not sexy. It
wasn’t complimentary and it was one of the scariest things that has ever
happened to me. Being alone or in sports wear was not an invitation to be
repeatedly hounded at the side of a busy main road, and funnily enough I wasn’t tempted
to get in his car after the fourth attempt to drive up and down the road to talk
to me.
Fortunately, I was helped out by three other male
friends who made sure I got home safely but sadly these occurences reinforce
the fact that as women, we are required to police and monitor ourselves and also answer questions like: ‘What were you wearing?’ when we share our
story with others.
And, if for whatever reason you think I’m being dramatic, consider
this:
Do men have to consider a different route home, the
consequences of your phone dying, changing the way you dress or the colour of
your lipstick in order to feel safe?
Do you have to worry about:
1. Getting
too drunk.
2. Leaving
your drink unattended at the bar.
3. Meeting a
stranger with no one knowing your whereabouts.
4. Being
alone in your house with an unknown visitor e.g. the electrician, the plumber etc.
5. Travelling
solo.
6. Running
or walking alone at night.
7. Responding
to abusive harassers, because retaliation might escalate the situation.
8. Your choice
and fit of clothing.
9. The size
and shape of your physical anatomy as an invitation for commentary.
10. Getting a
taxi home alone.
These are things that men often don’t have to think about,
that men take for granted, that men simply don’t have to consider as part of
their daily life, but sadly these are things that we as women have to consider
every day.
But if we as women do not believe in the underlying existence of these
preventative rape measures, and we do not raise the validity of our own
suffering, then we weaken the possibility of ever challenging, changing and rectifying
these deeply held and accepted beliefs and actions. Imagine these destructive thought
processes multiplied by over 7,460,124,122 people (roughly) globally, and
contemplate the omerta like culture of silence we are enabling by not speaking
out and raising awareness of this issue.
But for whatever reason you think there’s no harm in the
actions or words of some men, if it’s so normal and harmless and non-derogatory,
why aren’t men telling their mum’s they have lovely tits? Why aren’t they wolf
whistlin’ at their cousins and condoning the actions of strangers who hound
their girlfriends and sisters…
If it’s an act of admiration to be followed, or for a man to
not take no for an answer because he ‘really likes you’, then why stop there.
Why not start telling victims of theft that they deserved to be robbed for having
such a lovely house, instead of teaching people not to steal. Hell why don’t we
legalise guns, hand out knives, reward crime and let murderers decide the fate
of our wellbeing while we’re at it…
That’s because these pre-requisites would only encourage
people to think that extreme behaviours were acceptable.
As such, we have to change
the processes before you can ever change the product. It starts with enabling a
world where young men and women grow up with intelligent regard and knowledge
of each other’s bodies, as well as respect for each other’s minds.For example 'Rape Culture' in public discourse is encouraged and condoled when we
consent to the participation of conversations that encourages a lax attitudes
toward sexual violence and the concerns of women.
The way we talk about things
matter, and not accepting the words and actions of others will help us to
redefine the issue.
The current prevalence of the issue may
have arisen most obviously thanks to one misogynistic predator masquerading as
a presidential candidate, but the fact that it is
currently being used as a
reason to (rightly)
Have we put Rape Culture on the agenda as no longer
acceptable?
I hope so. For myself and every female across the world.
From Doha with love. Always.
