A Gram of Immorality

Marilyn Monroe the globally renown Hollywood temptress once said, a woman's clothing should be tight enough to compliment her figure, but loose enough to show she's a lady…which documents the long, twisted and multi-faceted relationship that has marred fashion and female sexuality for centuries.

It began with the flash of an ankle, the glimpse of a knee and the heightening of hem lines, but arguably today’s underwear has become outer-wear, and my mother's rule of cleavage or legs (never both), has become more passé than American Apparel ‘Disco Pants’.

Quite frankly, I've seen Kim Kardashian’s breasts more than my own, and for young girls, knowledge is accrued by sight, whilst behaviour is condoned by socially accepted cues.

Yet arguably, there is no clear distinction what is age appropriate and what’s not these days, and I see no difference between the style sold to teenagers, to that sold to someone older. Which begs the question where how does female style distinguish itself?

Some people may find it ironic that I’m choosing to discuss a topic which I myself might be accused of perpetuating with some of the photos I post on Instagram, which is a conundrum I do acknowledge and deliberate over before I hit share…But as an educated and opinionated twenty five year old woman, even I’m shhhtumped on the whole navigational aspect of body confidence vs. moral depravity.

So really, what chance do young and impressionable teenage girls have out there in a confusing and hypocritical world, which contradicts itself continuously?

With even larger repercussions than posting alone, what women put on social media has a more powerful ripple effect for the modern day female, especially in consideration of the following:

Is it liberating to wear what we want?

Is it diminishing to expose ‘too much’ skin?

It is a reflection of female empowerment to dress and accentuate our bodies?

Or, are we all just senseless victims of superficiality?

In an American study of adolescents, adult volunteers viewed moderately sexualized photos of girls as less competent, less intelligent, less moral and less self-respecting. But in a visual world where photo and video content reigns supreme; in a world where female influencers support social movements such as ‘Free the Nipple’…just what is a young girl supposed to do or think?

Again, it reverts back to bench marking a large social media following as the pinnacle of success and popularity; because the more we do that, the higher we raise the bar for women in the superficial style stakes, where the only thing left to do is out sex each other.

But as women, we do not need to be told that talent, intellectualism, ambition, humour, kindness and generosity are the most important qualities in anyone regardless of gender. Because, in a world where sex sells, it’s no coincidence that the most liked post on my Instagram is one where I’m wearing my boobs as earrings (sincere apologies Mum).

Yet, I know I’m a lot more than my body. I have more substance than my work outs, and I would like to think I’m a little more than one-dimensional in the way I interact with my social media.

However, are these ‘alternative’ posts popular? No. Does it bother me? No. Would it bother a teenager seeking social acceptance? Yes.

So wholeheartedly, I write this piece in the immense defense of teenagers, especially our young girls.

Generation Z have no social, moral or supportive navigational help to steer them through these online struggles…and before we start judging anyone online, male or female, I suggest you take a look back into your recently liked photos, and see what kind of culture you’re bench marking for today’s youth to follow suit…

The only knowledge that guides me in the confusion of it all, is the fact that as women I believe we’re defined by our decisions, regarding both our sexuality and topics beyond…And that’s the cold hard truth which either works to our advantage, or our handicap.

So, all I can say to any young girl is choose what you decision you may, but make sure your social media is a holistic representation of who you are – not just a one dimensional showcase of your face and body.

In the words of William Shakespeare "To thine own self be true.”

Halfway to happy

Just in case no one told you recently, you’re wonderful and capable and worthy of all your hopes and dreams.

Have you ever stopped and thought, “How lovely it is to be anything at all!”, even when the courage to take risks and the discipline to keep trying seems like a momentous uphill struggle.

…Because despite what you’ve been taught, you are not obligated to an unsatisfactory present. Every day we have the ability to change our circumstances and strive for something more than the moderately pleasant.

Happiness doesn’t lie in the consumption of socially constructed contentment. It flourishes in the independence of thought, and the authentic reflection of self.

The most important gift any of us can preserve from childhood, is the commitment to our dreams. Yet reassuringly, you'll find that you're not the first person to be distracted, confused and frustrated by the sickly sweet temptation of stability and comfort.

Yet regardless of what obstacles you’ve faced, the failure you have incurred, or whether you’re currently weighed down by a heavy sense of under-fulfillment and inner turmoil; you’ll never deal with anything more difficult than the negative thought processes of your own mind.

Wonderfully, dreams are not tarnishable. They don't care about your past or mundane present. You are not allocated a certain amount of ‘shots’, and their possibilities will always hold infinite potential for you whenever you are ready.

You see, our ambitions are never the problem. Just our interpretation of what they actually are. So as long as we keep looking to money, social conformity, popularity and conventional stability for true satisfaction, few of us will ever be captured with an intoxicating sense of purpose.

And really, what with the time-consuming nature of it all; school, university, a good job, savings, marriage, our own home and children; by the time we get the things we have been taught we want; our youth is gone, our hearts are heavy, our bones ache and the time wasted is irretrievable.

So if not today, or tomorrow, then when? At what point in our lives have we scheduled our dreams in the grand scheme of it all?

Truthfully, I’ve never been more disappointed in myself than when I’ve been alone, feeling low in the emptiness of my own heart after a long day of doing what I thought I should.

The only version of self our conscience will ever let us accept, is the one we hold our self secretly accountable to. The person who despite everything, continued to pursue the things they hoped, dreamed and always sought to achieve.